Imagine a crocodile sleeping beside a quiet river. It has not moved in a long time. Its eyes are closed, the water is still, and nothing is in danger. You notice it from a safe distance. You could keep walking. Instead, you pick up a stick and poke it.
Whatever happens next is a problem you created.
Jamaicans have long understood the cost of unnecessary provocation. The proverb “Nuh trouble trouble ‘til trouble trouble yuh” warns us not to disturb trouble that is leaving us alone. If you wake the sleeping crocodile, you cannot act surprised when it behaves like a crocodile.
What the Proverb Really Means
The proverb is not telling us to avoid every difficult situation. It is not an excuse to ignore abuse, danger, unfairness or a problem that will grow worse without attention. When trouble comes to your door, you must decide how to face it.
But trouble that has not come to your door does not need an invitation.
The lesson is about restraint: do not create a crisis simply because you are anxious, curious or eager to prove that you can handle one. Do not test a stable situation until it breaks. Do not disturb an arrangement that is working unless there is a clear reason to do so.
Sometimes the wisest action is no action at all.
At Home: The Sunday Dinner Argument
Picture a family gathered around the table on Sunday afternoon. The rice and peas have been served. Someone is passing the gravy. An aunt is telling a funny story, the children are laughing and, for once, everybody is getting along.
Then one person says, “Since everybody is here, let us talk about what happened last Christmas.”
The room changes. Forks slow down. Two relatives stop looking at each other. Everyone knows the story. They also know that nothing useful will be settled between the last spoonful of dinner and dessert.
Perhaps the old disagreement does need a conversation one day. But does it need to happen now, in front of the whole family, without warning? Or is somebody poking the sleeping crocodile because a peaceful table feels strangely uncomfortable?
Families often carry old grievances, political differences and personality clashes. Peace may simply mean that everyone has learned how to share a room without turning every gathering into a courtroom – not that differences have disappeared.
Before raising a difficult subject, ask:
- Who will this conversation help?
- What result am I hoping for?
- Is this the right time and place?
- Am I seeking understanding, or do I only want a reaction?
Honest conversations matter. Timing and purpose matter too. If the only likely result is a spoiled meal and three new arguments, leave the crocodile sleeping.
In Relationships: The Test That Creates the Problem
A message comes in while your partner is in the shower. Their phone lights up on the table. You cannot see anything suspicious, but your mind begins to build a story.
You could ask a calm question later if you have a real concern. Instead, you become cold and distant. When your partner asks what is wrong, you say, “Nothing.” Then you make a sharp comment and wait to see whether they become defensive. By bedtime, both of you are angry about a problem that did not exist that morning.
This is what happens when people create tests in relationships. They start a fight to see whether the other person will fight back. They threaten to leave to see whether they will be stopped. They flirt with someone else to test for jealousy. They cross a boundary just to find out how firm it is.
But the damage created by the test is still real. A sleeping crocodile does not care whether it woke up naturally or somebody poked it. In the same way, the hurt caused by an unnecessary test remains even if the person was “only checking.”
Long‑term relationship studies, especially John Gottman’s work on couples, show that indirect tests, re‑opening old grievances, and provoking emotional reactions are strongly associated with lower relationship satisfaction and higher breakup rates. Complementary research on self‑control and vulnerability (Baumeister, Brown, and others) suggests that emotionally secure people are more able to tolerate uncertainty without creating drama.
Trust grows when we respond to evidence instead of fear. It grows when we ask clear questions rather than setting traps. In the absence of a real warning sign, allow peace to be peace.
At Work: The Email That Did Not Need to Be Sent
Now imagine a small misunderstanding at work. A coworker replies to your message with only three words: “Will review later.”
You read the sentence twice. It sounds short. Maybe they are annoyed. Maybe they are questioning your work. You begin writing a long reply explaining everything you have done. Then you copy the manager “for visibility.”
The coworker, who was simply rushing to another meeting, returns to find a formal-looking email chain. Now they feel accused. The manager wonders whether there is a conflict. By the end of the day, a hurried three-word reply has become a meeting about communication.
This is workplace trouble waking up.
Not every awkward message requires escalation. Not every small tension needs a policy. Not every informal agreement improves when it is turned into a document for five people to approve.
Sometimes coworkers have already found a practical rhythm. One person arrives early; another stays late. One handles urgent calls; the other keeps the records in order. The arrangement may not be perfect on paper, but it works. Formalising every detail can cause arguments about duties, credit and fairness that nobody was having before.
Good judgment at work includes knowing when to ask a simple question, when to wait for more information and when to close the draft instead of pressing “Reply all.”
Research has found that when individuals respond to short or hurried messages with elaborate explanations, formal escalation, or “cover‑your‑back” emails, minor misunderstandings often grow into formal disputes, meetings, and damaged trust. In studying judgment and self‑control, other research (Kahneman, Mischel, Baumeister) supports the idea that pausing, clarifying, and resisting the urge to act on first impressions reduces unnecessary conflict and preserves energy for problems that truly require our intervention.
The Discipline of Restraint
Leaving trouble alone is not always easy. Action can make us feel powerful. Sending the message, confronting the relative or demanding an immediate answer can create the feeling that we are taking control.
Restraint requires more confidence. It asks us to sit with uncertainty and decide whether action is really necessary.
Try asking:
- Is anyone being harmed right now?
- Will the situation become harmful if I leave it alone?
- Do I have facts, or am I reacting to fear and assumptions?
- Could raising the issue cause more harm than it prevents?
- Who benefits if I disturb this?
- Can I wait, observe or ask one calm question first?
If a real problem needs attention, address it with courage. If the answers point toward leaving it alone, do that with equal courage. Restraint is not weakness. It is the intelligent use of our energy, time and relationship capital.
From the Bookshelf
Ronald Heifetz’s Leadership Without Easy Answers offers a useful way to think about problems that require deep change and those that can be handled more simply.
Paul Laurence Dunbar’s poem We Wear the Mask explores a related Black experience of restraint, including the dignity and cost of choosing not to reveal or confront everything.
A Closing Thought
Trouble will find you without your help. Life will bring illness, disappointment, conflict, and hard choices. Those real difficulties deserve your strength. Do not waste that strength manufacturing problems during moments of peace.
The wisdom of the proverb lives in the person who sees the sleeping crocodile, understands exactly what it can do, and walks the other way.
What sleeping thing are you tempted to disturb, and what do you honestly expect to gain by waking it?
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