Mi throw mi corn, mi nuh call nuh fowl

The Art of Speaking Truth Without Starting Wars

Picture this: You’re in a team meeting, and everyone knows someone dropped the ball on the big client presentation. The tension is thick enough to cut with a knife. Your manager takes a breath and says, “Moving forward, let’s all make sure we’re double-checking our work before it goes to clients. Fresh eyes catch what tired ones miss.”

No finger-pointing. No public shaming. Just wisdom dropped like seeds in fertile ground, allowing whoever needs the message most to quietly gather it up.

This is the beautiful art behind the Jamaican proverb “Mi throw mi corn, mi nuh call nuh fowl”: I’ve scattered my wisdom, but I won’t call out who needs to hear it. If it speaks to you, that’s between you and the truth.

The Gentle Power of Indirect Wisdom

There’s something deeply compassionate about this approach to correction. Instead of wielding truth like a weapon, we offer it like nourishment. We plant seeds of insight and trust that they’ll take root where they’re meant to grow.

Think about the most transformative conversations in your life. Chances are, they weren’t the ones where someone cornered you and listed your flaws. They were probably the moments when someone shared a story, offered a perspective, or dropped a piece of wisdom that made you think, “Oh… they’re talking about me, aren’t they?”

That gentle recognition, that moment when we see ourselves clearly without feeling attacked. That’s where real change begins.

Leading with Wisdom at Work

The best leaders I’ve worked with have mastered this art. They understand that public correction often breeds resentment, while private wisdom creates lasting change.

When someone consistently misses deadlines, instead of singling them out, they might share a story about how organization transformed their own career. When a team member struggles with communication, they might introduce a new “clarity practice” for everyone, knowing that the person who needs it most will benefit without feeling targeted.

It’s not about being indirect to avoid confrontation. It’s about being strategic with compassion. Sometimes the message lands more powerfully when people discover it themselves rather than having it imposed on them.

Something to try: The next time you’re frustrated with someone’s behavior, pause before addressing it directly. Ask yourself: “Is there a way to share this wisdom that invites growth rather than defensiveness?” You might be surprised at how much more receptive people become when they don’t feel cornered.

Family Harmony, One Corn Kernel at a Time

Oh, the magic this proverb can work in family life! Instead of the 47th reminder about leaving dishes in the sink, you might casually mention how much you appreciate when the kitchen feels welcoming and clean. Instead of nagging about homework, you could share how good it feels to complete tasks and have peace of mind.

It transforms nagging into mentoring. It turns criticism into culture-building.

I love how this approach assumes the best in people, that they want to do better, they just need a gentle nudge toward awareness rather than a harsh shove toward compliance.

Try this shift: Instead of “You never…” or “You always…,” try “I’ve noticed that when people… they tend to feel…” It opens hearts instead of raising defenses.

The Wisdom of Self-Recognition

Here’s what makes this proverb particularly brilliant: it comes with a built-in compass that points inward. If you hear the corn being thrown and feel yourself getting defensive, it might be worth asking why. What nerve did it touch? What truth are you avoiding?

Sometimes we cluck the loudest when the message hits closest to home.

But there’s beauty in this too. When we recognize ourselves in gentle correction, we have the opportunity to change without losing face. We can grow without the shame that often keeps us stuck in our patterns.

A Cultural Gift to the World

In Jamaican communities, this proverb reflects a deep understanding of human nature and social harmony. It comes from a culture that values both truth-telling and relationship-preserving. It recognizes that sometimes the most loving thing you can do is speak truth in a way that allows people to maintain their dignity while still hearing what they need to hear.

It’s often used by elders, pastors, and community leaders who’ve learned that wisdom delivered with kindness travels further than wisdom wielded with force. They understand that the goal isn’t to be right. It’s to be helpful.

When Words Find Their Intended Hearts

The beauty of throwing corn instead of calling fowls is that your words have the chance to reach exactly the hearts that are ready to receive them. The person who needs to hear about punctuality will absorb that message. The one struggling with kindness will take that lesson to heart. The one avoiding responsibility will feel that gentle nudge.

Meanwhile, those who don’t need the particular message simply hear good advice and move on. No unnecessary offense taken, no relationships strained over misunderstandings.

Books That Teach This Art

If you’re drawn to this approach of graceful communication, these reads will deepen your practice:

“Crucial Conversations” by Patterson, Grenny, McMillan & Switzler teaches you how to navigate difficult discussions with skill and heart, ensuring your message is heard rather than just delivered.

“Radical Candor” by Kim Scott shows how to care personally while challenging directly, a perfect complement to the corn-throwing approach.

“Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg offers a framework for speaking truth in ways that connect rather than divide.

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The Invitation in Every Kernel

At its heart, this proverb is about trust, trusting that people generally want to do better when they understand how. It’s about believing in someone’s capacity to grow rather than focusing on their current shortcomings.

When we throw our corn with love instead of calling fowls with frustration, we create space for transformation. We offer people the gift of self-discovery rather than the burden of public shame.

The next time you have truth to share, consider the Jamaican way: scatter your wisdom generously, speak your truth clearly, but let people discover for themselves which kernels are meant for them.

After all, the fowls that need feeding will find the corn. And sometimes, the most beautiful changes happen when people think the growth was their idea all along.

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Have you ever found yourself recognizing your own reflection in someone else’s gentle wisdom? Share your story below. We all learn from each other’s moments of growth.