Change Is Coming even When It Feels Like It Isn’t
A colleague of mine likes to boast that he has a healthy play ethic. For some, that means the privilege of taking long trips abroad, engaging in expensive hobbies or taking time out to savor life. For many years, I treated play and rest as luxuries as I slogged through long stressful days. In some ways, I felt as though I was sacrificially standing in the tragic gap (to borrow Parker Palmer’s language) – extending myself for the greater good. I look back with confidence that I did contribute to bettering the lives of others but the way I went about it cost me. I was perpetually exhausted, overwhelmed, and numbly going through the motions. My life was a bucket that I was dragging to the well day after day. Thankfully, the bottom did not drop out before I realized I needed to make a change. I slowed down, took vacation days, and made time for people and hobbies I loved. Even when things were busy, I intentionally focused on my physical and mental health, savored my lunch, went for short walks outside or enjoyed a moment of levity with a friend.
This proverb has carried both warning and comfort for generations:
“Every day bucket go a well, one day di bottom drop out.”
Literally, the bucket draws water again and again until one day it no longer can. Figuratively, nothing continues unchanged forever. Patterns break. Strain reaches its limit. And what seems endless inevitably shifts.
Some people hear only the warning but it also offers mercy.
The Warning and The Wisdom of Endurance
At home, this proverb often appears when people are enduring long seasons – caregiving fatigue, financial pressure, or emotional labor. It reminds us that endurance itself has a lifespan. Either rest arrives, or something breaks. The wisdom here is not to wait for collapse but to intervene before the bottom drops out. That may mean asking for help – something many of us struggle with, paying for support where we can, or simply getting a good night’s sleep. We keep the bottom from falling out of our buckets by investing in communities that can help to sustain us during challenging times.
When Silence Isn’t Stability: Relationships and Tension
In relationships, this proverb explains why unresolved tension eventually explodes. Small hurts ignored do not fade. They accumulate. Quiet resentment does not stay quiet forever. One day the bottom falls out of the emotional bucket. And people are often stunned, not because the signs weren’t there, but because they believed silence was stability. Schedule date nights to connect with your spouse. Have regular family meetings. Ask the question: how are we doing? Address tension and conflict rather than avoiding it.
The Cost of Carrying Excessive Load: Burnout at Work
At work, burnout often looks exactly like this proverb. The same employee carrying excessive load. The same department covering gaps without replacement. The same long hours normalized as dedication. The same “just push through” mantra. Until one day the bottom drops out through illness, collapse, resignation, or quiet disengagement. The proverb doesn’t shame endurance. It warns against pretending endurance has no cost. As a business owner, I’ve learned to lead with a focus on my people. That means taking the time to check in with each other at the beginning of meetings, meeting with my leadership team one-on-one and being aware of their well-being, not just their perspectives and performance. It means being supportive of everyone as whole people with talents, passions, ambitions, and personal lives. It means creating a culture of care and belonging along with high standards.
The Doorway for Redesign: Breaking as Restoration
Yet this proverb is not only about breakdown. It is about restoration. When the bucket can no longer hold what it once did, something must change. New tools emerge. New systems form. New rhythms get created. The breaking becomes the doorway for redesign.
To live this proverb well is to listen for early signals. The body speaks. The mind whispers. The spirit complains gently before it shouts. When exhaustion becomes chronic, it is not a badge of honor. It is a message.
Hope lives inside this proverb, too. For those who feel stuck in suffering, it also says: this will not remain unchanged forever. The bucket may be cracked now but movement is still promised. Seasons turn. Systems fall. Healing arrives in ways that once felt impossible.
Resources for Deeper Reflection
For deeper reflection on this wisdom, several powerful resources apply. Burnout by Emily and Amelia Nagoski explores how stress lodges in the body and how release becomes healing. The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk explains how long-term strain reshapes the nervous system. Rumi’s poetry, especially his reflections on breaking and becoming, reminds us that fracture often becomes the site of transformation.
Practicing Sustainable Living
Living this proverb meaningfully means practicing sustainable living. It means pacing instead of rushing; saying no without apology; repairing small cracks before collapse demands full reconstruction. It also means staying hopeful when life feels heavy because change is not a fantasy; it is a pattern.
So today, check your bucket. Is it strained? Is it leaking quietly? Is it being asked to carry more than it was built for? You do not have to wait for the bottom to drop out to choose rebalance.
Leave a Reply